Dinner With the Captain
by Alexandrorca
Summary: In which King just wants some damn food, Ban kidnaps for fun, Mel is forced to give pep talks, and no one knows what on earth is going on except Elizabeth. Kiane and Implied Melizabeth, takes place between the Capitol of the Dead and Vaizel.


So. This is not the last chapter of Remember Me. It's also not that super fun Helliquen request I received on AO3, and it's definitely not that sequel to Tales of a Third Wheel I actually intend to finish someday.

Nope. I just got back from a week-long trip to the homeland (read: a 9 hour drive each way) and I'm too tired for original thought. But I still wanted to write something for y'all because the NnT fanfiction community is boss, so I dredged up this little one-shot I never finished from like May when I first got into NnT

Anyway, hope you enjoy! And goodnight. Hopefully Helbram won't come harass me for not writing about him again in my sleep. Sigh.

* * *

King feared he was talking her ears off, but she didn't seem to mind. At the very least, she pretended to be listening attentively, and the Fairy King appreciated the effort. It was the first real conversation he'd had with her since rejoining the group, and after 10 years apart, he was just happy to be near her again.

So of course he couldn't hide his excitement when Diane had asked him to tell her about the Forest he missed so much. He was having such a great time describing his former home, he didn't even realize he should probably forego details about the giant flying insects that resided there until it was too late.

"EEEK! King, that's so gross!"

"But they're perfectly harmless creatures unless you startle them- I mean, um, uh, I can tell you about something else-"

Diane shook her head furiously, "No, no, I don't want to hear anymore!"

King felt like he deserved a slap in the face. How could he have forgotten? "Sorry for scaring you."

"It's okay, but…" Diane got that adorably perplexed look on her face, and King smiled despite himself. Did she get even cuter after 10 years!?

"Hey, have you seen the Captain in a while? I don't see him anywhere, and it's almost dinner time."

It took a minute for the words to register, and then his smile fell. He rose past her face and surveyed the surrounding forest. After a few moments he returned back to eye level with the sitting giantess, finger to his chin. "I don't see him either. Come to think of it, I haven't seen the Princess around either."

Below them, Hawk stamped his hoof. "Meliodas better not be off doing something weird to Elizabeth!"

Diane stood up and balled her hands into fists. "That cheating jerk! When I get my hands on him you see if he'll ever try something like that again!" She yelled angrily.

A small part of King hoped fervently that the Captain was in fact doing something "weird" to Elizabeth- so weird that Diane would realize Meliodas just wasn't interested in her. But he didn't want Diane's feelings hurt, either, so he tried to reassure them. "Let's not jump to conclusions, you guys, I'm sure there is a reasonable, rational explanation for-"

He cut himself off when he sensed a menacing presence behind him. Before King could turn around two bulky arms wrapped around his middle and pressed his own arms flush against his body. He tried to resist, wriggling and squirming as best he could, but it was no use. Chastiefol raced towards him, but before the spear could get close enough, he heard Diane comment dryly.

"Ban, _what_ are you doing?"

King relaxed slightly, his fear turning to familiar irritation. He completely forgot about using Chastiefol and tried to kick him instead. "Let go of me!"

"Can't, Pig. Captain asked me to get you."

"Huh? The Captain? Why?" Now this was odd.

Ban was trying to hold back a laugh, but he wasn't very successful. "He wants to have dinner just the two of you and talk about something important."

" _ **What?!**_ Why does King get to have dinner with the Captain?" It was unclear whether she was upset over not having dinner with Meliodas or not having dinner with King. King could only hope.

"Yeah, what does the Captain want with me?"

King could feel Ban's shrug as he restrained him. "Beats me. I'm just glad I got the fun job." He grinned as he hoisted King over his shoulder. The angry fairy beat on Ban's back, but he barely flinched.

"W-wait a sec!" Diane protested.

"Yeah, we're coming too!" Hawk added.

"No can do. You guys aren't allowed. Captain's orders."

Diane crossed her arms and huffed, while Hawk began an angry rant, but Ban ignored them both. King gave Diane one last pleading look as he was carried away into the woods.

He cried out angrily when he was dumped unceremoniously on the ground. He shot up to scold Ban, but then he noticed the Captain sitting on a log on the other side of the clearing. He wore an incredibly grave, angry expression. King gulped. What on earth could he have done to make the Captain so mad? He'd only just rejoined them!

Ban glanced around, "where'd the Princess go?"

"I send Elizabeth back. She doesn't need to see this." His voice was cold and deadly solemn, and King played the last few days he had traveled with them over in his head. What did he do wrong? King thought he could take the Captain in a fight if it came down to it, but he had absolutely no desire to start one.

"Yeah, guess not. I'll leave you two alone then." Ban raised a lazy hand in farewell and disappeared into the trees.

Meliodas looked King up and down appraisingly, as if looking for something King himself was not aware of. "C-Captain, if this is about me w-working with the Holy Knights, I swear it was only because-"

He shook his head and leapt off the log, his face brightening immediately. "Holy Knights? What'd give you that idea?"

King gaped at his grinning Captain. "What… But then... But you…"

"Elizabeth asked if you and I would have a chat."

"A chat." He echoed dully.

"A chat!"

After a beat, King finally relaxed. Chastiefol flew over to him and he sprawled out over it, exhausted. He was getting too old for their antics. "So why all the dramatics and secrecy for a simple chat?"

"It was more fun this way!" Meliodas replied, that grin never wavering.

King sighed. They waited for a while awkwardly until Meliodas gestured to a picnic basket on the ground. King scowled. It probably all meat anyway. It was like the Sins lived off of meat and alcohol.

"No thanks, I think I'll wait until I'm back with everyone else." It was easier to stomach Meliodas's cooking when the pain was shared among friends.

The Captain pulled out a leg from some animal the fairy chose not look closely enough to identify. "Suit yourself."

"So what did you… Did Elizabeth want you to discuss with me?"

"Diane tried to show me her boobies again yesterday. And I mean the whole package."

King's face went as red as a tomato. He flew off of Chastiefol to hover angrily in front of Meliodas. "What? No, I don't believe you, Diane wouldn't do that kind of thing, don't talk about her like that-"

"You're jealous of me." Meliodas announced, his light tone never changing.

"What? Captain! Of course I'm not- how could- wh-why would you even th-think that?"

Meliodas smirked. "It's not much of a secret, King. It was obvious even 10 years ago, though I'm not sure if the idea of you together is more or less creepy now that you look like this."

"H-hey! That's just rude!"

He continued as if King hadn't spoken, "Honestly, I thought nothing of it. As long as it doesn't affect your ability to fight alongside us, I don't care about your crush or your jealousy."

The Fairy King laughed nervously "S-so then why…?"

"Elizabeth is worried about you. I tried to tell her that we work best because we actually have no team unity at all, but she wouldn't hear it. She wants us all to get along as Sins, and she figured it was easier to address you and me than you and Ban."

"Hmph. That's… Very insightful of her." It was sweet, actually.

Meliodas shrugged. "Look. I just want to make her happy. Because I love her, not Diane. I consider Diane a friend. A comrade. I could never think of her the way I think of Elizabeth." He said, his tone light and casual as if his words wouldn't break Diane's heart if she could hear them.

King shook his head and looked away. "You don't deserve her attention."

"And you do?" He asked curiously, never derisively.

"No." He said softly. He actually felt like he might cry; he really didn't want to talk about that.

The Captain sighed long and loud. "King. I already told you I'm not interested in her. I'm not trying to stand in your way. There is nothing stopping you two from getting together."

Yes, there was. And it was his fault. But maybe the Captain was right. Maybe if he really tried, he could get Diane to like him, even love him again. "Okay, Captain." A smile returned to his faintly blushing face, "I'll try."

"Great!" He beamed, "Then let's head back. I've earned some groping tonight!" He flexed his hand in case King didn't get the message, and King sighed. No. Diane was too sweet, too beautiful, to like someone like the Captain. He needed to fix that.

His stomach grumbled loudly as they made their way back through the forest. Meliodas laughed. "You know, you should've said something if you were hungry. Ban made the food."

King frowned. Well, that was unfortunate, but he was sure he could find something to eat when they returned to the Boar Hat. But he may have to put that off a bit longer, because Diane was waiting with her hands on her hips with the rest of their friends.

Elizabeth caught Meliodas's eye, and he flashed her a thumbs up. She smiled in response, and Meliodas started to head her way, presumably to make good on his promise/threat of gropes.

"Oh, no you don't!" Diane shouted, grabbing him and holding him hostage in her palm. King yelped as she plucked him up next. Her violet eyes glared at them as she brought them to her face.

"Just what do you think you were doing, huh? Sneaking off into the woods and leaving a poor girl to eat all alone…"

"But, Diane, you ate with Hawk and Sir Ban and me!" Elizabeth reminded her.

Her eyes narrowed further. "Yeah, but… It isn't the same without them here." Diane pouted, and King's heart fluttered at her words.

"Sorry, Diane." King said, trying to hide his happiness. Diane smiled at him, and then glared at Meliodas.

"Hey, King apologized. Aren't you going to say sorry for leaving me too?"

Meliodas's face never changed from his blank expression. "Nope. We didn't do anything wrong, so why don't you just put us down now, okay?" He patted her hand.

Diane dropped her knees, never letting go of them. "But Caaaaaptaaaiiiiin! At least tell me what you guys were doing that was more important than me." She looked back and forth between the two men, and King started to squirm in her grip.

"Um. We were, that is, we, um, uh…"

"We saw some girls bathing in a spring, so King came with me to watch the fun."

Diane's face became ever more indignant. "You WHAT?! You perverts!" And she threw them hard into the ground, making small craters around each Sin. She stomped off angrily to go vent to Elizabeth, who struggled admirably to console her.

King pulled himself out of the pit, wincing. He glanced over to see Meliodas doing the same. He flashed King a beam, and King smiled back. He was grateful that the Captain had lied to protect his secret. And once Diane calmed down, he was definitely going to resume his attempts to win her over. But first, he should probably see about getting some food…


End file.
